A sharp eyed reader (Rick
) noticed that I have added a photo gallery called ‘Guitars for Sale’ Well… it’s true. I have put two of my guitars up for sale on Birds and Moons
. Considering all of the trouble and craziness that I’ve done to obtain them, you ask… ‘Why sell them?’ Good question. The answer has nothing to do with the need for money, nor the desire to buy anything else. Nor does it have to do with paying off bills, even though the funds will certainly go a long way towards that. No, the real reason is because I have finally understood my reason for WHY I bought them. And, it’s not a pretty reason. Ok, so it’s not an ugly reason either, but it IS a very human reason. Now that I understand why I have them, I feel that I can let them go.
Ok, so what’s the darned reason? Low self-esteem. I felt that my playing wasn’t very good. I did not believe in myself. I felt that if I had an awesome guitar, people would like me despite the fact that I played badly. It wouldn’t matter how I sounded…
Yep, pretty damn silly/stupid/crazy, right?
In hind-sight, it was. I have realized that I like my guitar playing, no matter WHAT guitar I play on. I feel like an average player on a good day, but I actually LIKE that now. To really get better requires a level of dedication that I don’t have the ambition for. So, I’m learning to be happy with what I can do. And, I think that means removing the unbelievable guitar factor. I’d actually like to get a chance to play WITHOUT the ‘what a cool guitar’ effect 🙂
There are more changes going on. I figured out that the car was the same issue. So, the ‘vette’s gone too. Ok, so it was replaced by a Lexus, but not because it’s a Lexus, but because I can save some money. The house has a similar problem. I didn’t feel comfortable doing anything to it becasue it was ‘for someone else’ (whom, I have NO idea). That’s changing as well. Soon, there will be some paintings that *I* like up, maybe some paint on the walls to get rid of the white ‘sterile’ look. It’s *my* house darn it.
So, I’ll be blogging more about changes. Heck, maybe this IS a mid-life crisis 🙂 I don’t know. All I know is that I feel FAR better than before 🙂